As we await the Supreme Court’s likely reversal of Roe v. Wade, I am reading “The Girls Who Went Away” by Ann Fessler. It is a heart-wrenching book about the “Baby Scoop Era” when millions of unwed women were forced to give up their babies for adoption during the years 1945 to 1973. Without access to birth control or abortion, these women were kicked out of school and shunned from their communities, often labeled neurotic and psychologically deficient. They were sent off to institutions until the babies reached full term at which time the women’s arms and legs were tied down while they gave birth. Once the baby was born, many women were not allowed to hold their baby or even to see their baby. After a short medical recovery, the mother would be coerced into signing the required adoption documents, if they ever signed documents at all. The women were told to never speak of the events for fear of rendering them social outcasts for the rest of their lives. Shamed first for having sex and shamed again for giving up their baby. Meanwhile, the fathers continued on with their lives, assured that a single indiscretion should not derail their academic and professional aspirations.
As I read this series of first-hand accounts, I thought about my own mother. She was forced to give her first baby up for adoption. An unwed Catholic girl from rural Kansas carrying a biracial baby, she had said that her family would not let her keep the baby. At the age I was when I heard the story I don’t think I thought too much about it. I was a young, white Catholic boy from rural Kansas. I was patriotic and pious. I was a Boy Scout. And besides all that, my Grandmother was beyond reproach. Giving your child up for adoption seemed like a kind and righteous thing to do given the circumstances. Besides, what other options were there? But now I find myself wanting to know more. Was my mother sent off to one of these maternity homes against her will? What choice would my mother have made if she had actually been offered one? Unfortunately my mother passed away in February and I will never be able to ask her.
I am no longer a young, naïve Catholic boy from rural Kansas. So many childhood stories of brave god-fearing settlers and messengers of freedom have been replaced by ones of exploitation, enslavement, and genocide. But of all the historical horror stories I’ve read since boyhood, this story carries a unique malignance. This was violence inflicted upon daughters by their own fathers and mothers. This was violence enabled and supported by grandparents while brothers, sisters, classmates, and neighbors looked on. What sort of society condones and indeed promotes such violence? What sort of society is one where daughters, sisters, and granddaughters are sent to institutions by their own families, to be treated like cattle during birthing season? It is clearly a society that doesn’t respect a woman or her right to body autonomy. And it is our society. It was our grandparents and great-grandparents sending our grandmothers, mothers, and aunts off to these awful places while our parents, aunts, and uncles looked on. It was our government that denied our own mothers, aunts, and grandmothers dominion over their own bodies and then allowed their babies to be stolen from them.
As we await the Supreme Court decision on Roe v. Wade, we once again consider what power society should have over a woman’s body. Progressive constitutional law experts are lamenting that we shouldn’t even be here now. This issue should have been addressed by legislators long ago instead of leaving it up to the judges. But one only need look at a group photo of the U.S. Congress to see why they have failed us. While white men represent only 30% of our population, they represent 62% of officeholders. While reading this statistic I find myself wondering how many of these white men watched as their sisters were carted off to institutions to hide away in shame and give birth in secret. I wonder how many of these white men sent their daughters away. I wonder how many of these white men sat in college lecture halls or studied for bar exams while their college sweetheart laid strapped to a gurney in a cold cement room, future livelihood and child stolen from them.
If we truly believe in a representative democracy, a government that represents all of us, we need more women in elected positions and fewer white men. If you are a white man considering a life in politics, even with the best intentions, you should divert your energy and talents to backing a woman candidate. Until we have a government that truly represents us, one where a majority of elected representatives are women, we will continue to see a government that lacks the perspective or wisdom to address the needs and respect the rights of all Americans.