by Jenny Fox © May 2022
(Names have been changed to protect privacy.)
When I think about writing this, all I want to do is make cookies. Making cookies is simple and easy. When I make cookies, I put in the measured ingredients according to instruction and get a predictable result. When I make cookies, I don’t have to feel anything. Writing about my miscarriage and abortions feels chaotic and vulnerable. I have no instructions for how to do this. Despite this discomfort, I am sharing my experiences because it is deeply damaging that having an abortion is still stigmatized. The same is true of miscarriage, though generally speaking, we are more sympathetic to women when they have miscarriages, and the legal right to have a miscarriage is not in question. Until those of us who have had abortions speak openly about our experiences, abortion will never be normalized. Please note the difference between normalized and trivialized. I am not seeking to trivialize abortion. I am seeking to normalize abortion. Being open about having an abortion does not currently feel safe. I beg you to be tender with me.
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